The lovely wives of Tutankhamun.

I think it was a compliment when my acting coach confided in me that I had the emotional diversification of sand. I really love acting. I guess it's not too high-handed to throw words like 'love' around while I'm at it, but 'love' isn't really a word I have used in any of my recent relationships. I think when the proper pill-goddess comes along, I WILL say it.

Anyway, I did a decent job with the play. Acting is a fuckin' harrowing job. And Jean Anouilih drives me crazy with his dictated emotion. Makes me want to dig holes in the director's shirt with a scalpel. And my ongoing romance with his daughter isn't helping. Every time I reach across to pat her back or to share a pretzel with her, I imagine his ratty eyes goring my back like cheddar in a cheese factory. Yesterday, as I was having a quick lunch with daddy dearest, and he reached over to grab the salt-shaker, he told me something I will never forget - The pen is mightier than the sword,because it evolves and can be refilled. Not like the sword which always remains a blade and nothing more. As I opened my mouth to protest,he silenced me by saying,'Be a doll, and don't speak of the katana-toting samurai'. Trust my old man to pull words out of my mouth.

I guess it's hard being a douchebag when you have two pieces of salmon in your mouth. I leave you with a disturbing, all-seeing apron.

Momversationally stupid.

My mother calls me a Byronic hero, while my father calls me a conversational dinosaur. I'm all for the 'Whodunnit-while-you-were-sleeping?' angle. Who is to blame, signore?

Skepticism ka mooh kaala.

My friends wanted me to list some of the epithets they have bestowed on me to be visible on this blog. So, here goes.

Aarti - Best friend. Tube of toothpaste I like to squeeze whenever I need whitening.

Ramanuj - All-rounded bastard. Always unshaved. Cross between night cologne and rum in the morning.

Sunetra - Expert contortionist in love with the world, passionately. Physical manifestation of hard-to-ignore-male-ego.

Arjun - Kaay ka epithet? Ek din da words will feel shy in hiz presence.

Nafisa - Man with possibly the best sense of humour. Ridiculously sucky at saying he cares. Has closeness issues.

Karan - Oh, one day you're going to get married.

I can't stop smiling. Heh.

Good shit

Doug - How do you tell a woman that makes your kids' lunches, to suck your balls and spread her ass wide open, like a geometry compass? How, Andy, how?

Andy - I don't like this game anymore.

How I wish Nancy was my dealer.