Blogalows. Chug-chug.

Blogalows. Chug-chug.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The bouncy red.

Okay, S said yes.
Now what? I don't know.
Do you think this has a future? Probably.
Is this a bad idea? This is past a bad idea.
Do you really love her? More than I'd like to acknowledge.
Would you mind that she sleep around? Probably, no.
What is your emotional dependency on this woman? Till now, nothing significant enough to be documented.
What is her name? Dammit, computer. I'm trying to get a life here.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The little man and his quiver.

The asshole shot me in the leg. Who, you ask. Cupid the motherfucker. And I can't get out. I think I am falling for S. And I don't even know how.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

SI + S = ?

A few months back, I had resorted to gallivanting across social networking sites so that I might find a small semblance of rationality in the make of these patterns. In my 'travels', I had an online encounter with a rather unique character, who I will call S here (because she decided to call herself that before revealing her true name to me). She is a SI, yes. And from what I gather, she is at least a decade older than me, or even more (who knows?). I'll add here that she is attractive, if one believes the the picture on her profile page is truly of her. What makes her an unique case is the fact that she IS like all these SI farts, in the way she proposes and/or disposes. Not far removed from the way these SIs talk/gesture/pontificate. A classic case of personality upheaval. I may go as far as to say she is as removed from a priori practical knowledge as my grandmother, yet, in her, I find a cynical battery of thoughts. From what I understand, she has a family that is a textbook-sampling of all that is SI and no, there are no Chautauquas to be learnt in that regard. Nondescript mediocrity. I may be wrong, and further away from the truth than I suspect, but this I know - the differences in culture make for a rather huge gap in understanding why these SIs act the way they do. I have never - yes, never - met a SI who distances himself/herself from this extraneous diaspora by contending that he/she will imbibe what's right and discard what is wrong. She is mildly coquettish, but I sense a deep discontent in her, like she is eager to set things right by giving them time, but has lost most of her bearings, borne down by the trappings of emotional virtuosity. I sound like a New Orleans shrink, so I will admit I am a bit frazzled by all this. We began a vigorous tour-de-force of messaging a month back, and it hasn't stopped yet. It bothers me. Like something is drawing me to this culturally-handicapped person. She can never respond to my Indie puns or my sourdough greetings, either because she does not get them or because her frame of cultural relevance collapsed with the company she chose to adorn herself with. Anyway, who am I to find meaning in all the kitsch?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

No, no, I am NOT lascivious.


The girl eyes me cattily. She's wearing a leotard that looks like Jane Fonda wore it for Easter. The Four Seasons' swimming-pool is a rather sordid affair, and not many turn up to get their socks off here, because either they are getting drunk at the Esplanade or punching holes in boardroom etiquette. I'm here to represent a firm, and procure internships for them. My work almost done, the HR manager told me I could splash around, unless I wanted to go skinny-dipping in which case I should go to Amsterdam. I had laughed uncomfortably and had changed to a rather tufty pair of trunks and told the concierge I would be taking calls, if there were any, at the poolside.

So, here I was, by the pool, sipping a rather innocent-looking glass of Dom Perignon (my compliments to the firm) and tanning my rather ungainly-looking body. We are the only ones here. I am not averse to uncomfortable silences in uncomfortable places, so I take it all in my stride. After a few minutes of thinking and counter-thinking, the girl decides she wants to talk to me, so she swims towards me. I look at her from the top of my glass, noticing that she isn't a shade above twenty. The water runs off the lycra and I find it hard to look away. She observes my silent appraisal of her body, and she smiles.

Her : Hello. Not seen you around. You new here?
Me : Could say so. Why, are you?
Her : Not really. Have a ballet here in the evening. (okay, so that explains the impossibly-flat belly).
Me : Oh. Not much experience with that. My two left feet already complain of under-use and I coax them every day into feeling better about themselves, like buying them a foot-massage once a month.
Her : (laughs) Oh, I was not so much into it. Was introduced to it by my mother, she was a ballerina who had unfinished dreams, so she thought her daughter should continue the legacy.
Me : Cool. Do you like what they have done with the place?
Her : Yeah. Sort of. The bar's neat, and the maître d' was nice enough to recommend a few good mojitos.
Me : I was a fiend for mojitos too, till I found out they were the easiest drinks in the world to lace. Hard-pressed to grab a few now.

She comes to sit beside me, and she looks at me. I notice that her cleavage is dripping wet, and then she does the most unexpected thing in the world. She hooks her arm around my arm and says,'Fuck all this small-talk. Let's go and make love. Too much of expectation and broken promises'.

Then, I do the strangest thing. I free myself of her grasp, get up and downing the last sip, tell her this -

I am a man-slut. I would never forgive myself if I slept with a textbook-slut. And I walk away, her eyes on mine, or so I think.

Irony has a strong voice. Could have been a soprano were it not tied down by a dimunitive reason.